Utterances of l'amour filter from my dreams and here I sit, dizzy-brained, a flutter of blossum petals flurrying around like a fragrant spring snow storm. His voice- embossed with the sound of a far-away land- far away in time, space and possibility for me, yet so intimately infused within my memory.
Je me souviens.

Vulnerable, again, am I and as my heart opens to the sun, so too it opens to the frost. I tripped into this picture almost without thought- by instinct- and I am actually letting myself be here in this today. Not dreaming of tomorrow, not mourning for the yesterday in which my fear of losing that today was strangled.
Not hovering destructively between fear of him loving me too much or not enough. Just appreciation for today as the sun shines upon my skin, alive with warmth and existence within the moment. The sun of a moment lost is only a bitter light doing nought but illuminating the sad array that taunts the future heart.

New

OK- new energy, new week. Now is the chance to make it all happen. Sunday sickness paralised me from the sun and sleep was a dull, cluttered gathering of somewhat benign demons. Spring glows as dew in my heart afresh and love offers me new scenarios of passionate innocence- far away from the dark days, infinite nights and headlight-frozen eyes.

passing ships

memories floated as sweet petals

upon the pool of my mind

but his coldness stabbed my heart

as ice to a tangerine's cell.

Freedom

My world is changing.
Love, as a too-long rotting fruit is poisoning my being. Sometimes intoxication is just plain poison.
Again, the self-important embrace of lovers is a smug slash to my heart as I wince and look away, the immediacy of absence stinging so much more in their